Final Fantasy 1 Pixel Remaster

Now this isn’t something im proud off, but i’ve never actually played most final fantasy games. I played 13, 13-2, 15 and now 16. I am a fan but I was never really introduced to anything before I saw a friend playing 13. After recently playing FF16 it’s made me fall head over heels for the franchise and I decided to purchase the pixel remaster and play through every Final Fantasy game from the beginning and i’m hoping you Zesty lot will follow me on this journey as I post up mini reviews for each game in the series, so let’s begin our journey here with FF1.

This game has aged really well, considering it was released in 1985, the remastered version has only improved the graphics slightly and yet the general gameplay is the same as it was way back when, yet it plays very well. The combat is easy to understand and therefore very accessible to any new players and the movement is your standard top down 4 directional style and feels quite comfortable.

The story is kind of your standard big bad guy controlling 4 other big bad guys, but there is a little twist thrown in there at the end and I’m presuming no one minds spoilers for a nearly 40 year old game but I still won’t spoil it. I really like this style of bestiary, where it’s the same monster just stronger with a new name and colours which final fantasy uses a lot but does well. Even with this there is still a great selection of monsters to flesh the world out and the bosses are nicely designed, especially for the time.

I managed to complete this game in 14 hours, this would have been quicker but being a modern gamer i’m not so great if the game isn’t directly telling me go over there with map markers and a constant quest list. You do, in this game, actually have to pay attention to what people are saying and where they tell you to go and there’s no map markers which means you have to search for the destination rather than following the markers.

I’ve got to give this 10/10. With the time this came out, RPG games were brand new and this was top tier, also as this is a remaster they’ve done a great job adding in little bits like XP boosters and Gil boosters while still keeping the game as original as possible. I’d highly recommend playing this and am really looking forward to the next 11 games as I attempt to catch up to where I started in 2013.

Reviewed by MoonHead

Released on Sony Playstation 4 April 19th 2023.

Final Fantasy 7 Remake – Intergrade

First of all I’m just gonna straight up say that I rate this game a 10/10, I honestly have very little bad to say about it. Granted I am a tad bit bias in that this is one of my all time favourite game series. Also this’ll be my second complete play through, I originally completed it back on release on PS4 and just completed it again on PS5 just in time for the release of Rebirth. A refresh of the story and where it ends never hurt nobody.

Even though it’s called a remake, this is somewhat misleading. As to a degree it’s kinda it’s own game. With the game being split into what is to be a new trilogy. It does for the most part follow the story of the original from the PS1. For part 1 which takes around 30 hours to complete and if you want to platinum the game double that with two full play throughs and a few extra plays of three chapters to get the dress trophies. This game has fully stretched the original prologue area of what maybe 5 or 6 hours into a full stand alone game. Expanding on every aspect and then some. The entirety of this game takes place in Midgar, you don’t even step out of the city until the end of the game. Not to mention it incorporates story elements from Crisis Core and the film Advent children. I’m hoping with rebirth it’ll even go as far as using elements from Dirge of Cerberus. So without going into too much detail or spoilers, this game also has new enemies the whispers, these are arbiters of fate that basically rewrite the timeline and infer there is alternate timelines that potentially change the original story or even crossing into an alternate one entirely. The near 4 year wait to see how it all unfolds is nearly over and I can honestly not fucking wait.

Graphically final fantasy games always look stellar on launch, which usually means they hold up even a good few years later. This game is no different, especially on main character models they just look phenomenal still. Even the detail of all the different sectors and slums. Now some bits are starting to show their age like some of the NPC characters along with some janky facial features. Not every texture has stood the test of time but I think some games namely what a lot of flagship Nintendo games do. That strong stylistic design reigns supreme of graphical prowess, now obviously this looked banging on release but having a strong design and aesthetics throughout with attention detail helps it stand out still. Having a clear stylistic line in design between the slums beneath the plate, to the corporate upper society above the plate again aids in this.

Even though the game is played in chapters it does run in a linear fashion with the vast majority of the areas been linked up. Giving a more open world feel, not that there’s much in terms of hidden areas or alternate paths. Most the time they lead to the concluding area or a small hidden passage with an item chest. If you are lucky it’ll be a weapon chest.

I find the combat highly engaging a strong mix of basic combat and turn based attacking. Now you can dodge, guard and attack with one button controlling each manoeuvre, but there’s no complex combos. Now you can control Cloud, Tifa, Aerith and Barret in this game along with Red XIII as a companion late into the game. Each character has their own attack chains and special moves, which change with whatever weapon you have selected at the time. To combat the lack of combos and to keep the turn based strategy in place. You have the ATB gauge of two bars as standard that fill over the course of a battle, each slot allows for either a spell to be cast, a special move or the use of an item. So in the later boss fights this is especially important to time so you don’t run out. As with load outs from time to time you are character locked. The only other thing outside of equipment you get is materia. Now materia are your spells and extra buffs that most can be levelled up with AP you earn from each fight. Then there’s SP which allows you to fill out your weapon skill tree which each one has it’s own to fill out and improve it’s base stats. It all works fluidly and seamlessly swapping character mid battle never feels out of place.

I think with the extra padding and splitting the game into three parts is for the best. Even though the original was no slouch taking like 40 hours to go through to complete and that’s not doing everything. The extra hundreds of hours by the time this trilogy wraps up will allow for a much deeper telling of the story, giving side character more time to shine and more importantly far more Sephiroth. As well as the capitalistic greed of mega corporations that creates massive societal divisions whilst killing the world they live on, and giving rise to eco terrorism that the general populace are turned against by said corporations. Nevertheless the inclusion of more side quests help flesh out Midgar along with the big evil that is Shinra whilst it kills everything with no remorse. All with the aim of setting up the bigger moments yet to come.

My few complaints of the game are slight but I’ll list them nonetheless as my very little gaming review integrity states I must point out bad points. I think there should be more side quests as some aren’t great and as the story progresses in a continuous and linear manner, some chapters which could have more have none or very few. I think there is 26 all in all, and 4 are linked to choices so two will always be missable during a complete run. I think there’s an alright amount of weapons but not enough items for that much to make any difference to your character builds. I think either two small open areas or one bigger one should’ve been included for a bit of materia/level grinding also a few more enemy variants. There aren’t many bosses in game, well hard ones, most come towards the end of the game and the hardest are chapter locked behind hard mode. More fights in the colosseum or Shinra VR missions to allow more summon unlocks. A bit of dialogue choice would’ve gone far for an extra bit of immersion. Now I believe from the info and trailers this has been resolved tenfold in Rebirth.

Honestly I loved the original and I love this version. I love the gameplay which is only aided by the still fantastic story. There’s not much here considering how much I could write about the game. I’d argue this is due to even though there’s 30 hours or so to sink into. It’s still just the prologue. Most of the extra fluff comes into the expansive nature of the story and I don’t really want to ruin any of that if you’ve never played any version. Everything is designed and finessed perfectly for what it needs to be. The voice acting and character works is fantastic and the build up until the climatic fight of the first game rolling straight into Rebirth.

I should probably mention that I never played the DLC intermission with the extra chapters playing as Yuffie. My PS5 version is pre-owned and for whatever reason they code locked the DLC behind the one use activation codes from new. The PS store doesn’t recognise I’ve got the game and won’t let me download it. This is a common problem from what I can find out. I’m sure there may be a work around I’ve yet to find but I’m out of time to try as my copy of Rebirth has been dispatched as you read this line. Maybe if I choose to go for the platinum on the hard play through I could attempt to get it again one day.

I am going to rate this a non bias full 10/10, Real Fuckin’ Tasty.

If by chance you’ve managed to never play anything to do with this series, I can’t recommend it enough to go out your way to do it. Even if this title is the starting point. Now with part 2 released in a few days from now, it couldn’t be a better time to dig in and treat yourself.

Released on April 2020 PS4 and June 10th 2021 on PS5.

Ps Portal

I’ve got something a bit different for this review, whilst I add my finishing touches to the Final Fantasy 7 Remake review I’m doing. Hopefully I’ll get that done in time for the release of rebirth which is imminent and brings me a considerable amount of joy.

Anyhow onto the task at hand a quick review on the newest handheld device in Sony’s repertoire. I say a quick review namely because there isn’t a fat lot to talk about, not due to it being bad but rather due to the lack of features.

The portal in all its glory.

This for me came in at £199.99 and at the core of it, it’s just a glorified handheld streaming device Which you can already use your phone with a backbone controller attachment or use an Ipad or any other newish tablet to the same effect. However they don’t come with the dual sense controller in built. Now the dual sense in my humble opinion is the greatest achievement that came out of the PS5 cycle thus far. The haptics and feedbacks do add to the gaming experience more than you’d think. So having this in the palm of your hands where a standard controller has been firmly sliced in twain with a fancy full HD LCD touchscreen in between makes for a nice pairing. Now it’s a good looking screen to be fair to it, it’s not quiet as crisp as my OLED on my Switch which I highly rate for quality. That does cost over a hundred pound more and has the added function of being a full console as well. I do think the touchscreen is also a nice touch, but with the lack of features it’s a bit pointless. Outside of having to double tap the screen to activate the touchpad functions in game it ultimately serves no purpose.

Now unlike my beloved PSP and PS Vita’s the Portal doesn’t come with any specific tailor made games. It only directly streams the disc inserted or if you have any games installed on your SSD. So in order to play you do also need to have your PS5 in rest mode to activate at the very least. Whilst on though it does allow you to play wherever you are as long as you have any internet connection. Now I have seen people going abroad and travelling miles away and it still working. This is pretty neat but I don’t fancy much fucking off for weeks on end leaving my PS5 in rest mode to wake up no matter how much I want to play something. Also if you accidentally hit power down it’s game over.

Incredible photography capturing it in its natural state, placed poorly upon a pillow.

You do also get the full functions of the dual sense so inbuilt mic and light bars come integrated as well as the option for wired or bluetooth headsets. Along with the 6/7 hours of charge which isn’t too dissimilar to what I get out of my actual controller. Taking around 2 hours to fully charge which I don’t thinks too egregious. In comparisons to the Nintendo Switch as well it definitely carries more of a heft to it. Now it’s nothing too major but after playing for a while you can tell there is more of weight to it especially if you hold it one hand. I can’t say this is really that detrimental but if your main mode of gaming is handheld it’s worth considering.

Now I wouldn’t say this is an essential bit of gaming hardware to have and at my guess around £30 more then it should be sold at considering it’s just a controller and screen. I love it, in fact I’d argue I’ve gamed more than before I had it, which at any rate is a big fucking yes in my book. Having recently become a dad having the ability to play my Playstation 5 anywhere in my house is such a massive boon to my life and for many others in my same position would benefit from it no matter how casual or serious a gamer you are. I have also seen some reports of lag or image quality not being great, even connectivity issues. I’ve not ran into any such issue.

Something I would be more worried about in the long run is a broken button or if one of the analogue sticks gain stick drift. This though would be something to get to if it becomes an issue. As I’m sure you’d be able to remedy it yourself if it after strenuous hours of play it wore down.

Overall I’d rate this bit of tech a, Highly Tasty 8/10.

If you just need the extra option to play your games that runs smoother than streaming to your phone and you’ve got a bit of extra money lying around, then this is definitely worth your time.

Released by Sony November 15th 2023.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

It’s mad to me that this game is already over five years old. I remember getting this on release and have since periodically played it on and off. So, all these years later I randomly decided to restart this brawler from Nintendo. I say restart, I mean the adventure mode the World of Light.

This fighting game now has spanned multi generations and this iteration is the culmination of years of refining and perfecting this genre. It’s now somewhat of a crossover game having playable characters from the likes of Sonic, Metal Gear, Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy to name a few. At it’s core it’s your standard fighting game, with 74 base fighters to choose from and over 100 different stages to fight across.

Now, with the Smash series, your aim is to be the first to send the other fighters literally flying off the stage like team rocket and this has never changed. However, your opponents aren’t your only thing to contend with, the stages themselves are out to get you a lot of the time. This can be from bits being destroyed actively falling away, spewing lava, hit by cars or starships, random things being shot at you, bits of the environment also out to get you. Combine this with the abundance of items that do anything from spawning Pokemon, throw-able bombs, guns, familiar pick ups from the Mario series, NPC side characters from your chosen fighter and I’m barely scratching the surface. Everything about the fight is tightly contained into quick 2.30 min rounds as standard or first to reach three KO’s. This can be shorter or far longer if choose in setting up a custom match.

Now you can do as I said standard smash, but you also can do tournaments, as well as every character having their own mini adventure. So if you choose Link it ends fighting Ganon, you can choose how hard you want this to be rising all the way up to 9.9 intensity. You also have mini games like century smash where your aim is to defeat 100 mob enemies, home run, where you raise damage on a punch bag then smack it as far as you can with a baseball bat and a few others. These can be played alone or local/online co-op. Along with this comes with the online mode which I’m utter dog shit at. Now this doesn’t bother me really as I can just ignore it’s existence and play everything else which for the most part I do. It doesn’t help I’m only just about competent with Captain Falcon, I like using Kirby, Bayonetta and Ness as well. I pretty much never win online in standard Smash mode or arena. It doesn’t help it has a match making system based of your GSP, but you’ll constantly be playing against players far better then you, so you don’t really stand much of a chance of improving.

Now back to the World of Light adventure, it’s a rough story based around what I’d guess to be at least 600 fights where you roam around a map unlocking all the playable characters. Along the way you find obstacles that can be cleared via spirits or a specific action on the map. So, spirit cards are a new addition to the series. Easily over a 1000 of them. Each battle you get rewards you with a new one. The battles within the adventure aren’t necessarily a standard 1 v 1 situation. It can be all surfaces are electrified, controls flip, your opponents a giant, has instant smash, increased damage, defence, fogged map, harder to lauch etc. This is probably less then half of the variety of matches put to you. These spirts not only increase your stats, the come with boost that counter act the previous mentioned problems or give you boons like increased punches, triple jumps, character specific increased move damage. This all rolls into the skill tree boosts you unlock as well, standard stuff you’d expect, better defence, attack received less damage, shield lasts for longer. Now with these spirits as well if they are a support rather then a skill one, you can upgrade them to level 99. You do this with snacks, you get from battles or bought from shops you unlock and some can be enhanced. This resets them to level 1 but bumps there stats up and can add a better boost or extra skill slot. They can be used in standard smash as well outside of adventure. You can buy them from the daily updated game store in the menu, as well as the own spirit board where you can summon them via beating them in battle. You do have battle items that aid you in this pursuit. I don’t have any of the DLC fighters for some unknown reason but they add series specific spirits as well as new stages and music that comes with them.

This game is full of countless hours, and I’d say about the 30 hour mark to 100% the adventure. As per early entries and a lot of Nintendo exclusive games you have in game achievements this comes in the form of the tiles board. Once you’ve done the pre-requisite condition it smashes giving you a picture and an in game reward. If you enjoy stats, fear not this game is fucking loaded. They have milestones markers and a complete set of stats of everything you’ve done online and offline.

With the game coming into it’s sixth year since release, you can see it’s starting to age graphically. It’s by no means bad looking though. It still holds up by it’s own merits and is clearly a title that’s helped by incredible art design and direction. This is seen in the extra details of the stages themselves. Each stage is treated like the fighters themselves, all of them designed to have individuality and feel independent. This can be from being attacked by a homing strike from a starship, washed away by the rain, attacked by the stage themselves. Attention to detail from the Pokemon stage shifting to different stages, arenas lifting up, F- Zero race courses with the race happening underneath you, battling it out in the emerald hill of Sonic. The list goes on, I can’t speak to the DLC additions but I’d guess they have been given the same dedication making for even more variety at your hands.

I should probably mention the fighting itself considering that’s the main selling point of this game. It’s simple, yet perfectly executed. You can play this game with one joy con. You have basic melee combo, specials that are triggered with directional buttons input, upwards strikes, downward strikes, throws, shield for defence and parrying some what and lastly each characters finisher the final smash. Each character has there own unique move set that reflects them individually as well as their series they hail from. Each character truly feel like they hit at different speeds, move in their own unique manor all from such easy controls. Again I’d mention not easy to master though because as previously mentioned I’m dog shit.

Overall I’d rate this game a full 10/10, Real Fuckin’ Tasty.

If I only had three words to describe this game I’d used sleek, streamlined and refined. Everything about this game is years and years of improving on everything that worked before. Using what was great and making it fantastic. I know I should mention bad points of the game as well. However, other than the online which again can be completely ignored I’d say for a fighting game it’s just everything it needs to be. Filled to the brim with variety in all areas and fun as can be.

Released 7th December on Nintendo Switch.

First collection update of 2024

For me the Christmas period brings great joy but also great burden. This burden being swamped by the never ending stream of gaming greed the I possess. I can’t help myself, for every game I complete at least three more emerge from the dusty shadows of ebay, charity stores and me just pre-ordering everything I can.

I intended to be better this year round, attempting to reign myself in. I failed, I failed hard. I ended up with a multitude of new games and I even finally purchased a PSTV. It doesn’t stop there though I even decided to buy a nice new camera for myself. In my defence the camera serves a dual purpose in that I wanted one for general life. As well as now my incredible pictures I take for these sort of reviews will come ever so slightly crisper but no less terribly shot.

My newest acquisitions come in the form of the GBA versions of the first two lord of the rings games. This was more just to pad out my Lord of the rings collection, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this but as the greatest work of fiction to grace all the lands in book, screen and film form. I always feel the need to increase my collection in any way. In a sore way of preservation if not reverance of this masterpiece. Along with getting WarioLand 4 on the GBA to bring back those simpler days of my youth.

There’s also my newest PS1 titles, Breath of fire 3 and the Final Fantasy Anthology which is in mint condition which always appeases me. Making a change from the usual horrifc scratched disc or shit smeared cases these games come in. Which also plays in nicely to the PS5 version of the FF7 remake. Again aiding in just adding to my collection of my favourite title in my favourite game series. I have already completed that back on the PS4 when it first came out but with Rebirths release on the very near horizon, I felt it necessary to replay it for a refresher. Which I would recommend everyone should play it’s an utter belter.

I have just the one new addition to my PS Vita collection in Batman Arkham Origins Blackgate. Which I’ve mostly completed but I need to figure out transferring my save over to my PSTV as I now have the capability of hopefully capturing footage from this console to enhance my reviews as I know it’s what you’ve all been waiting for. Extra gaming footage as well as increased clarity for my world class photography, I do treat you all well.

My last two additions come in the form of the latest Assassins Creed Mirage and finally Jedi Survivor on the PS5. The sequel to the great 2019 title Jedi Fallen Order. I have much to play, arguably far too much too play. I still haven’t finished Dying Light 2, and I’ve got probably 100 hours left in Tears of the Kingdom, and I’m about halfway through Shin Megami Tensei V. As previously mentioned I was trying to be better and i’m only further behind. March is seemingly turning into a bad month as well with Planet Zoo, Dragons Dogma 2 and Rise of the Ronin dropping. Its almost like the gaming world has fully enveloped me and uses my weak nature against me.

As I whittle my through my gargantuan gaming list my next review will be on the Nintendo brawler Super Smash Bros Ultimate, which you’ll be glad to know I am nearly done with. I am trying my hardest to stick to my premeditated list. It’s time I stick with order, something I lack in pretty much every aspect of my life. Well then, until you eagerly await my next review which I know you all are. Stay ever Tasty, my friends and always keep posted here for updates and further reviews.

Forspoken

I picked this up in for super cheap just before Christmas for like £10 brand new. I thought why not, surely it can’t be as bad as the reviews say and for a tenner I’d imagine most games are worth your time at that price.

I had liked the look of this title when early footage had dropped and contemplated buying it on release but it was pushed back a few times, and then the mighty internet slandering began. The sales weren’t the best either from what I am aware, which is why less than 10 months later it was so cheap.

The story is middling, nothing new and ground breaking but serves the game well. It won’t take you long to complete, I finished the game at about 21 hours and that was with a good chunk of exploration. You play as Frey, a New Yorker who finds a magical vambrace and gets teleported to a new land called Athia. The story here misses the point in helping to open the world up as you face off against the Tantas which give you your new powers. As there is a fair few activities you could easily just not bother with or skate on past. It obviously has a story to keep everything going, but most of that is covered in lore you find on your travels. You can easily understand the story just by reading everything. I enjoy a good open world where the setting has a deep history to be explored but not at the expense of the main story, which should be richer in detail. A few extra cutscenes or main missions would’ve easily fixed this.

The combat and traversal in the game are the biggest highlight of the game, but are again hampered by the story. It doesn’t open until you find your first power around a third of the way through the chapters, and the last three chapters which are just story exposition and a boss fight. So, once you have a complete arsenal it doesn’t leave much time to get acquainted with them. Each power comes with it’s own set of unlockable attacks and spells, which can be further upgraded by doing a specific action like kill the last opponent with it, or hit 1000+ damage from behind or with the use of another ability. You can swap between them mid fight and each action has a cool down period. Once you’ve got most of them and you are parkouring around exploiting the enemies weaknesses, it does allow you to mow down the mobs in a near effortless manner. The combat downside definitely comes from the weak dodging and parrying which you can’t upgrade, you are just lumped with it and you really have to pre-empt an attack else you’ll definitely getting pounded into the ground like a tent peg.

Frey’s free running around the world for exploration is hella fun, you can just run full pelt everywhere, scale up mountains double, triple jump. Even zip across floating rock pathways to find a guild to explore, a monument to gain extra health/defence or trigger a time trial. You can go around towns and old fortifications as well to clear them out gaining an extra stat increase or some gear. Having this in the game for me does help me want to explore, as even in some bigger games I’ve played wondering around sometimes become tedious. Added with the many fast point travels dotted around clearing up a regions icons becomes no trouble.

Some of that tidy as parkour.

The game graphically looks fantastic and each new area you unlock adds a little something more to the land of Athia. As a setting and world to explore I really liked the aesthetics and scope of some areas. It’s a bit of a cross between dragon age and dragons dogma in terms of design with a bit of final fantasy sprinkled in. I enjoy going round doing everything as I work on the way to the platinum trophy. However, if you don’t go for trophies or not inclined to do much past the main mission about 70/80% game is completely missable. It’s basically do everything, get enough mana to unlock all upgrades and then do the level up to increase damage or stamina etc.

The map and all of the things i’ve yet to disover, this is about half of the full map. It’s fairly sizeable for the story that’s given.

I understand from a story point of view it makes sense but everywhere feels dead. There isn’t many side missions either and most of them take place in Cipal, the sorta last human city. A few more side missions which makes you go out and about are fully missing from the game. This would benefit the game and make for a reason to go scouting for stat increases or new gear.

Some pin point accurate combat from myself.

The gear is pretty limited, it’s cloaks, necklaces and nail blood infused paint, and is the main source of an increase in health, defence and magic increases. You can use the limited crafting upgrades to add two or three extra buffs to the cloaks and necklaces, and the nails are just set stat changes or buffs. As well as upgrading their base stats slightly which can give you higher health or defence. You can’t really do much of a character build and most of the increase are slight so don’t make for much of a difference during combat. In regards to the stats of Frey I think having everything tied to various gear or specific monuments or story related upgrade was a bad choice as well. You earn experience from your many battles but you don’t gain anything other then mana which you use to unlock new powers, even if it was every few levels some extra health or damage wouldn’t go a miss.

One thing I did enjoy were the boss fights, from the big bad, the Tantas and the mini dungeons bosses you have to defeat to clear them. They were always distinct from themselves and I’d imagine if you ramped the difficulty up it’s add a new edge to the whole game. Most of the enemies once you’ve acquired all the powers aren’t much of a threat.

I should probably mention the dialogue in the game considering the teaser trailer. It’s hit and miss it’s not completely unredeemable, but it does have its moments. I think sometimes they lay it on a bit thick for edginess. Especially with Frey as she’s the only character that seems to swear, maybe to signify cultural differences in each world.

Why is this apple so fucking big? It’s baffling.

Overall all I’d rate this game a Tasty 6/10.

The game looks fantastic graphically, it plays well. The combat and traversal is utterly fun, I think the story is too short and nothing amazing due to being a bit rushed, and if you don’t read the archives you might miss some of it. The world is dead and if you just reduce damage received it’s not particularly difficult. Having great combat hampered by poor defence mechanics doesn’t help. However not every game needs to be a masterpiece like God of War Ragnarok, and this game for me falls into the category of it’s worthwhile and can be played without much reason and a fairly straight forward platinum if you are a trophy hunter. If you can pick it up for cheap or get it for a good price it’d be worth your time.

Released 24th February 2023, Sony Playstation 5.

Tiny Tina’s Wonderland

For any returning fan of the Borderlands games, this game will be exactly what you expect it to be. It doesn’t reinvent the wheel for the pre-existing formula of the previous iterations, but it is good fun.

The gameplay is at it’s most basic a loot ‘n’ shoot game and with this being the 5th full entry if you exclude the tales games, it has firmly stuck to that and for the better I say. The sheer quantity of guns you’ll come across even in this medieval inspired game is mind boggling. Just when you think you won’t need a new gun for a level or two, you RNG a enchanted legendary assault rifle with no reload, fire damage and homing firebolt strikes. It’s truly grand.

Now before I get more into the gameplay I should probably mention the obvious. This is a spin-off from Borderlands 2 DLC, the dungeons and dragons inspired Tiny Tina’s Assault on Dragon Keep. I’d say that’s still the best expansion in the entire series. So, with this game you now have a full fledged 20 hour campaign and around 50 side quests. Expanding upon the original expansion.

The main characters of this adventure Tiny Tina, Valentine and Frette who form your party whilst playing Bunkers and Badasses.

The game looks top tier. I’ve always thought for the time when a Borderlands game comes out it looks phenomenal in it’s graphic novel style worlds. This is no different. The open level areas all look wonderful. Every game seems to add that extra notch in quality and finer detail then the last. From the more detailed weaponry, cell shading and details on skin or fabrics, or how the maps get bigger. Adding more variety, along with more scenery, really padding the game world out. I do find that even though this is supposed to be a high fantasy setting, the fact they stuck with more modern styled guns is a bit odd. I get the logic in it, but I’d have greatly enjoyed the use of more traditional medieval weapons which definitely could’ve still worked here. It’s not even a complaint I just think it’d have been cool and helped this stand out on it’s own a tad more.

I will mention briefly as well that I found this game to be hilarious, I genuinely laughed out loud regularly. From the expert voice acted dialogue of the main characters, or just random nonsense said by NPC’s. I think if you didn’t enjoy the original trilogy or the pre-sequel it’s not getting any better for you. This game has many returning characters, with Torgue being one of those and he’s more Torgue then usual, it’s stellar. This is a serious game in the sense that it’s got a big budget and has the likes of Will Arnett Andy Samberg and Wanda Sykes voicing main characters, but it absolutely doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s well written script always delivers and the banter as you cross the land or the overworld a new addition to the series, becomes all the more enjoyable because of it.

This game still has some of the nagging issues that was prevalent in 3. It’s about time they improved on the inventory, trying to wade through 60 weapons,armours,rings,amulets and wards is cumbersome. I often would sell a gun I was keeping by accident as it would flicker between how it wanted to organise them just as I pressed sell on a shitty shotgun I didn’t want.

Another issue I think the main campaign even though an improved villain and story to 3, still was short, lacking in actually having the villain be present. Most of the boss fights weren’t hard or as engaging as they should be. The final battle against the Dragon Lord was far to easy. A lot of weaponry is unbalanced I all but didn’t use snipers and rocket launchers. I found shotguns to be worthless as well. I understand balance is needed and they fit into your character builds. Not having true vault hunter mode and a level cap of 40 also felt like missed potential. I felt the game didn’t start to feel really borderlandsy until I had pretty much done everything. Legendary weapon spawns weren’t all that great, luckily when they happened they were worthwhile.

An improvement though was having each character as a solitary main class, and then having a sub class you can use. This means you only have two skill trees to put skill points into but really helps varied gameplay. Especially if you want to go through it all again. You also have hero points which can go into permanent buffs to certain attributes, like higher health and ward or higher chance of hitting a critical hit. So around level 30 the character build really comes into it’s own and starts to become real fun. Again, though hindered by the low level cap of 40.

The game does lean far more into D’n’D, by making you feel like you are building a character rather than just picking a few stats to put a lot badass tokens into. As well as improving the melee a smidge, it still misses the mark somewhat, in that you can just not use it and not be penalised for it. Doing certain actions like finding all 4 shrine pieces or completing all the rune challenges grant permanent increases to your stats as well. Along with lucky dice hidden throughout the lands, this increase loot luck, but even sat at over 5000 by the time I finished I didn’t feel it was particularly worthwhile. I feel this also ties into the lack of mini bosses, and only 4 side quest were really worth your time. Having more of those would make for an easy improvement.

Whilst you wander between quest areas you traverse the overworld, which has loot, side quests, and dungeons to explore. I say dungeons but these are just mini areas where you fight off between 1 and 3 waves of easy enemies. I would have preferred actual dungeons with mini bosses, something that fits nicely into it’s theme. These are also similar to the bandit camps that spawn or a random skeleton catches you and initiates the same sort of fight. I’d argue it’s just weak padding that can again be easily ignored for the most part.

Lastly, a snppet of what the overworld looks like.

Overall I’d rate this a hefty 7/10, Positively Tasty.

I did really enjoy this game, it was a blast start to finish. It could’ve done with being longer, a level cap of at least 50, with better boss battles and true vault hunter mode. It was funny, well voice acted along with tight gun-play. It’s just lacking those few extra endgame bits to really flesh it out and this was somewhat let down with it’s mediocre DLC which is somewhere this series usually excels.

Released March 25th 2022 on Sony Playstion 5.

My Pre-Christmas Haul

I haven’t been as nearly as attentive to playing my games. Nor, have I being playing them effectively or efficiently as I should. In between work and my degree i’m fairly swamped. You’d think this would stop me buying an endless stream of new games. Boy oh boy, you’d be severely wrong. I went for it, not in the sense I actually bought what could be seen as aanything of worth, nay. I bought more random games, at least two or three of them I genuinely wanted. I think I just love a cheap bargain, either that or I just admit I have slight hoarding issue.

My award winning photography at the forefront once more.

As you can see I have a good ol’ stack of new stuff this time. I have surprisingly reviewed let’s build a zoo. After sinking 30 hours into it, and periodically still playing it, I’m ever so slightly addicted to it. I even managed to finish my Final Fantasy XIII trilogy. See below.

See I wasn’t lying, I’ve yet to decide to go straight for this bad boy or to start the trilogy from the beginning.

No Mercy on the N64, this is one of the titles I actually wanted and I have in fact played it for a few hours. Shocking I know. Poorly though, as even though it’s boxed it doesn’t come with the manual. So, every time I want to play it, I have to google the controls as I play so many at once it all blurs. Much like my average day to day.

I was genuinely filled with joy when I saw this on my travels.

Another title I wanted was Enter the Matrix and specifically I wanted it on the Gamecube. I do have it on the OG Xbox. It’s in my stack of utterly decimated discs. I bought a bundle from offline, the seller fucked me. They fucked me good. the controller was bollocked, all but 2 games weren’t decimated by what, one can only asssume to be that of a dying rabbid cat in it’s final moments was also electruted and decided to use the discs as scratching posts.

I do think to myself sometimes, perhaps I should save some money up and start buying complete in box versions of the Pokemon games I want, or some of the earlier Final Fantasy games. But, why do that when I can buy more random Scooby – Doo games, or some Yu-Gi-Oh games that cost pittance to me. I only have myself to blame. 

Amongst all this I have also come to the realisation I need a game play plan, or simple structure, that i’ll actually attempt to follow. I’ll beleive in myself only so much, I can’t forsee it sticking but I have for the immediate future got a solid plan in place. I know what my next few games that I will be playing for review are. All i’m gonna say is, be prepared to be razzle dazzled or bitterly dissapointed but just know, my tasty devotees. I have some old, some new and some odd choices coming your way. I do this so that you may not have to endure hours of trash or to help gently guide you onto the path of gaming enligthenment. We are in this together, this’ll be my last collection update for like three weeks, until this entire plan immediately goes to pot with my post christmas haul. I should hopefully be putting up a game review up soon, as I’m well into finishing Tiny Tina’s Wonderland. I’m fairly positive I’ve got another few unfinished ones lying around on my laptop as well.

Until then, as always stay tasty. Have a grand Christmas and very Happy New Year.

Let’s build a Zoo

I’m a bit behind as of late on my reviews, well more so than usual. These things happen. It doesn’t help I am fairly inconsistent in playing just one game a go as well. I’m a sucker for simulation games, I’m a big fan of Roller coaster Tycoon, Planet Coaster and the likes. I’m waiting for the day we finally get a remaster of Lemonade Tycoon, to be completely honest I dream of it sometimes. So I was scrolling though the deals online and came across this game.

I was fairly sold on the two trailers for this game and it’s whimsical stylings. It also helps it’s not particularly expensive and came with one of the two DLC contents the Dinosaur Island pack. I have yet to start that content as this game ended up being far meatier then I anticipated. In the best of ways. It’s not as straight forward as building a pen and buying animals. It’s an expansive management sim. You have to build a suitable pen with water, enrichment and decoration for each specific animal. This starts off very limited but with the research centre as the days pass you earn research points to put into getting new shelters, toys etc. This also plays into what stores you can build. From food and drink stalls to gift shops. As well as the decorations for the park itself, varying styles of benches, trees, plants, subway station for easier access to your ever expanding park. It doesn’t stop there either, you need zoo keepers, janitors, mascots, vet’s, staff for all of your stalls, your recycling centre, later game for your farming, so you can become more of a self sufficient zoo. I am definitely missing stuff off here but you get the point. This all increases visitors to your zoo, as well as what they are willing to pay for entry and as they visit your food vendors.

The most unique part of this game, and something I particularly enjoy is the DNA splicing. The game comes with a base amount of 60 or so animals I believe. So you’d imagine there wouldn’t be much to collect, you’d be wrong. Each individual animal comes with 10 variants which have to be unlocked via breeding. A real fucking grind and one of my only gripes for the entire game. Once you unlock 5 out of the 10 genomes you can pick two separate animals to create a completely new creature. So you can end up with a spotty Capybara with the head of duck, or a snake with the head of a Hyena. I think this works out at over 300,000 variations you are able to put in your zoo. Well that’s what it says on the cover of the box anyhow.

The game for my personal preferences looks incredible, having the look of the games from yesteryear. With the super colourful and vibrant 16 bit style, it adds an easier setting for a deceptively in depth game. The animals looks great if not slightly chunky, i’d also argue they are all the same size whether a Hippopotamus or a Rabbit. This isn’t a criticism, rather, just something I noticed. To further your animal collection you have to buy new plots of land, and trade with other zoos across the globe with specific variants, and before you know it you’ve amassed like 400 animals with 30 to unlock still.

Buying plots of land gets expensive fairly quickly, to balance it out you have to really work on unlocking new bus routes. This comes from either the small tasks you are allocated as you go along or from research which gives you bigger coaches. Now visitors are tied into the games morality mechanics. You can either be good or evil. To be good is easy just make sure your animals are well looked after, you don’t buy from the black market or build glue factories, or an abattoir, or even a bacon factory to name a few of the evil buildings you can unlock. The next important thing to do is making your zoo look good. Now mine looks like shit, I won’t lie, this is mainly due to I’m just trying for trophies rather than the more fun sandbox mode I’ll inevitably move onto too. Picking where to spend your research points is somewhat critical here for this. Now you can unlock everything, but there is no clear path, each node unlocks surround ones that are previously hidden. Each node comes with stacking bonuses, and as you can imagine some are more important than others. Animal enrichment items give an over buff for how much happiness they have per item in their enclosures. Buying lampposts allow you stay open for longer, better transport, decorations increase visitors happiness and how much they want to spend. You also get access to atms, richer visitors, how much they rest when they sit on a bench or when using a shelter. This list goes on somewhat. For me this is a step up on the usual park building sims I’ve played and it’s something I’d like to see integrated more in the future.

Now this game isn’t completely perfect but very nearly. I do have some negatives, one I’ve already mentioned the breeding. You get access to nurseries and you pick a pair to breed and they have a chance of producing the necessary offspring you are after. It basically doesn’t happen, you get stuck on 1 or 2 genomes left and they have like 26% success rates, it’s fucking nonsense. Now my big three annoyances, at number 3. The pens entrances get blocked for no good reason and the zoo keepers can’t get in no matter what you do. You can’t just pick them up and plop them in there either, it’s bullshit. You could do that in the first rollercoaster tycoon, it’s a feature I’d like to be added. The only way to fix this is seems to be moving the entire pen and that’s if you’ve got room cause if not they all die from hunger. Now for number 2, low water, with every passing day comes the rising sun and the animals ever increasing thirst. For me this is the Ducks, the Geese, the snakes, the meerkats, it’s ceaseless. Now this ties directly into the biggest pain in my ass. The relentless overpopulation, some animals just don’t fucking stop. I give the bigger pens and more water and everyday they’ve tripled. The game gives you population hut’s as well feeding to auto buy food. Now I must be doing it wrong as from what I can tell. They straight up don’t work. I have to use the conservation hut to release an endless stream rabbits into the world every day. It takes away something when you have to start every day messing around with stocking up food, releasing a hundred animals, all the while the constant breeding fails for the variant you actually want.

I give this game a very high 9 out of 10, Pure Tasty Gaming.

This game comes with great art style and real in-depth sim management that I wasn’t expecting. It’s easy to sink a couple hours in and not achieve much but at the same time achieve a fair amount. A few quality of life improvements wouldn’t go amiss, like calm down the animal fucking, being able to move your staff as you’d please as well as knowing who’s being assigned to which zones for easier control of getting your animals fed,watered and cleaned more efficiently. However, none of this detracts on how fun the game is overall and I’m very much looking forward to going down the evil route in the future.

Released 29th September 2022 on Sony Playstation 5

Burnout 3: Takedown

This won’t be a massive review, for two reasons. I don’t think this classic really needs me to ramble all that much to do it justice, plus, I won’t lie I haven’t not played it all that much around 6 hours or so, so a fair chunk at the very least. What can I say I’m a busy guy, truthfully I’ve been trying to get the platinum on GhostWire, I’m nearly there only another 70k spirits to collect and then just the remaining collectibles I’ve not found yet, as well as playing WWE 2k23 a fair bit. I’m easily distracted, which leads me to playing a hundred games a go. I fully intend to play this game some more causing further backlog where it isn’t required.

Anyhow, on with the review. I’m going to first mention the soundtrack for this game. I feel it needs an honourable mention of sorts. With this coming out in 2004, the soundtrack is littered with punk, pop-punk bangers. From the likes of Rise Against, Pennywise, My Chemical Romance, the Romanes just to mention a few. This is something I find games of now really lack, it goes hand in hand with the Need for Speed Underground 1 and 2 with their glorious soundtracks. It could just be age catching up with me at this point as I am no longer a sprite fit youngling. I’m an old, out of shape mess who has fond memories of late 90’s to early 2000’s music. As well as playing these racing gems back in a time where I didn’t have mass debt and a job.

Again, back to the review I digress once more. The gameplay doesn’t need to be mentioned all that much it’s an arcade racer. At it’s core, it’s like any base racing game, and with any other title it gets spiced up in their own way. In this case it’s the carnage. I love it. It’s definitely the biggest strength of the game, but sometimes it’s also a detriment. This could be from just the games age showing through, meaning the driving isn’t as flush and receptive as the modern day counterparts, and with the base cars turning and drifting is the drizzling shits. What normally happens is I just plough into oncoming traffic, a pillar or head first into a blocked off section. As I said it could be the driving or it could be that I am just dog shit at the game, who’s to say. Don’t get me wrong the driving isn’t horrendous and works well enough, you can tell the difference between cars. The tracks aren’t massively populated but the longer trucks and buses can be a real pain in the arse though. Along with standard races, you get time trials, preview laps, face offs, road rage and crash mode. The last two being the best versions. The aim to make your opponents crash the most through take-downs and slamming them in a standard race setting. With crash mode, get some pick ups and then ram into traffic and just exploding the ever loving shit of everything in the vicinity for the highest cost from damage caused.

Can’t beat a bit of Crash mode. Pure chaos.

The game in terms of graphics and fidelity doesn’t hold up all that well. It doesn’t look bad but you can tell it’s coming on 20 years old. It handles and plays well, if not looking a tad fuzzy on my 4k TV, but it wasn’t made with that screen in mind. With the 173 events spread over multiple tracks in the US, Europe and Asia. It has a decent amount of variety and with everything being fast paced and really soaking in the arcade simulator minus the £1 a go play. Along with like 70 unlockable cars from getting gold medals, total takedowns, damage caused form the crash mode. There is enough to keep you occupied for a good 25-30 hours just to unlock and do everything. It’s highly replayable, and the most important it’s so much fucking fun. You can easily pass an hour in no time, in just trying to achieve a gold medal in one event.

I am awarding this game a 10/10, Real Fuckin’ Tasty.

I can’t overstate enough how much fun it is, even in the few short hours I’ve put into it. I was never bored and just enjoyed smashing into other cars at normal speed or whilst boosting. It still plays well, and enough variety to stop it from getting stale fast. Also, being on the PS2 it has the added benefit of local co-op. Something that I can easily see ramping the fun up even more. Not every game needs to be a graphical juggernaut, with an oscar level driven story and voice acting. Not that is a bad thing. I just think most games don’t have the simplicity and fun this game still showcases far above many newer games that fit into the same category. Even after nabbbing some footage for this review I carried on playing for another hour.

Released 7th September 2004, Sony Playstation 2.